All that you can't leave behind

2004-05-28T10:37:00.000-07:00

HAVE MOVED HERE. WEBSITE IS HERE.

2003-02-02T11:17:00.000-08:00

If urm. Anyone still comes around here, (which i doubt), I've more or less moved to lj here.

2002-07-13T00:48:00.000-07:00

We do surveys...go us!!!!

What's the first fandom you wrote fic for?
The X-files

What's the most recent fandom that you've written fic for?
football slash

What's the title of your first fanfic?
Man...I don't know. First one i actually 'finished'? Because I had a lot of fics that I never ever finished

Does it suck beyond the telling of it?
Most likely

Is it slash or het?
Slash

What was your first 'ship?
for reading, it was Nick/Lacroix from Forever Knight
for writing, it was Beecher/Anybody (although again, I never finished one fic, I just wrote endless WIPS)

What's your fave 'ship now?
Brad/Chester from Linkin Park...oh hell yeah

What 'ship(s) makes your eyes bleed and your loins turn into monkey guts?
Trent Reznor/Marilyn Manson
Fred Durst(aka eevil cootie carrying bastard)/anybody

What is your most common fic pairings?
Brad/Chester...I can't get away from those two. They live in my head and do 'stuff', like all the damn time

What pairing did you swear that you'd never write, but eventually did?
heh...nothing. I've learnt not to do that. "I can't see Joe/Brad! Just. Can't!" *plop* Oh, there it is.

What pairing do you swear you will never, ever write, even if your favorite character promised to make sweet love to you in their crypt/hotel/van/haunted apartment/prison cell/flat if you did?
Mike/Chester(okay,it's because I *can't*,allright? So I choose to be bitter and hate the pairing)

What's the wackiest fanfic situation you've put the characters in?
ahahaha...my characters usually just have a lot of sex and issues involving sex, and um..that's about it. Well, Eminem meeting Spike was kinda wacky, I guess.

How many times has magick solved/created the main problem/plot in your fics?
Never, i think

What pairing do you hate to admit to actually indulging in, against your better judgement?
Nothing, really.

Can you remember the first fanfic you ever read?
I dooo! It was an X-files het fic, where Mulder and Scully were kidnapped and imprisoned on an alien ship and Mulder was forced to rape Scully(yes, dammit the plot made such an impression on me i remember it). It was long-ass though, and I don't think I ever completed it.

How long have you been involved in internet fandom(s)?
Long fucking time...on and off, I don't know. Almost six years?

Ever written a crossover?
Yeah, a few.

Best crossover fic you've read?
Okay...it's a crossover AU, A little lost fox by Anna

What pairing do you want to write, but don't think you could?
Most FPS pairings, which I can't write for some reason. Oh, and Joe/Dave and Joe/Rob. Basically just Joe, whom I really don't get and therefore can't really write.

2002-07-06T23:47:00.000-07:00

So was gonna nap, ended up sleeping all night. Well, at least it made my mother happy. Am going to download Sick and Tired for Andrea. She-ee-eets. Ahaha. That amuses me, even though I've never heard it before.

Meanwhile...Serj is a sexy mofo. Yes he is.

Kino says SOAD is like crack. Am inclined to agree.

pogopogopogopogopogopogobounce!

I also have beer on my head! It's supposed to thicken the hair or something. It itches and I smell like...well, beer. Beer smells better than it tastes. Mmmm..

2002-06-30T06:36:00.000-07:00

Okay, this blogger/lj thing is confusing me yet again. Pfft. Am going to cross post everything from now on, and mean it too, for once.

2002-06-20T03:23:00.000-07:00

So I'm off to Genting...:: hugs ::

Be back Sunday. Whee!!

And...went to see dentist. Apparently tooth growing is very near nerves and also I have a majorly small jaw so they will have to remove part of said jaw in order to take out the tooth. Am currently in state of horror, imagining a lifetime of nerve related pain if he messes up. Oi. Okay...and now I'm done. And gone. Whee!!

2002-06-19T07:48:00.000-07:00

OW. OW. OW.

This is the sound I'm making right now.

Hurt her! Hurt her! Hurt her!

That is the sound my wisdom tooth is making right now.

OWW!!!

I need to go pull it out, but I'm going away tomorrow, so I obviously can't. Aiiyee!! My gums are all swollen.

Okay. Self pity rant over.

One more time.

OWWW!!

2002-06-18T03:30:00.000-07:00

I'm going to Genting this weekend. So don't want to go. I swear if i could get out of it i would. Not that I'll be doing much, mostly I'll bet I'll be in the room watching football. Sigh. But. Six hour bus ride? Fuck me. The only thing good is the weather, cool..although my ears always pop on the way up the mountain and I already have ear problems. Grr..

2002-06-17T21:40:00.000-07:00

I have so many stories written down on paper it's almost sad? Because I scribble? So if i scribble and it's done it ain't never gonna get typed out. Like ever. And of course they're all brilliant because everything I write in a fit of inspiration is brilliant until I actually type it out and go...ehh? What the hell did i write? Ouch, but that sucked.

So yes. Wonderful, kick-ass writing...all missing. Heh.

2002-06-17T21:36:00.000-07:00

My wounds are bleeding. Am torn between dispassion and mild horror. Hmm...I can't stop. I might not care.

2002-06-16T09:59:00.000-07:00

So apparently it's Father's Day. To my father, wherever he is :

Fuck you and I hope you choke on it.

2002-06-15T10:24:00.000-07:00

I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real

Trent. He's red now. Because.

2002-06-11T10:11:00.000-07:00

This cheered me up to no end :

Outraging Arab and immigration groups, the U.S. government will require as many as 100,000 visitors a year -- most of them Middle Eastern men -- to be fingerprinted, photographed and registered in an effort to monitor possible terrorists, officials said on Wednesday.

I also rather enjoyed this little article here.

The amount of disjoint between television and reality was shocking. The "new" Northern Alliance government was no better than the Taliban; with the exception of the U.S.-appointed former oil-company hacks in charge, they were Talibs. Women still wore their burqas, stonings continued at the soccer stadium and the bodies of bombing victims piled up by the thousands. Not only was the War on Terror failing to catch terrorists, it was creating a new generation of Afghans whose logical response to losing their friends and parents and siblings and spouses and children would be to hate America.

So places I won't be going to on vacation any time soon.

2002-06-10T06:02:00.000-07:00

My html is weird. Yes it is. If it steals my blob i'm going to be very angry.

2002-06-10T05:44:00.000-07:00

Look! I have a useless blob! She's pink! Ain't she purty? Pet her, please.

2002-06-09T02:29:00.000-07:00

From Alicia

2002-06-08T08:30:00.000-07:00

Blogger ate two of my comments. The fuck? They're just. Gone. Fuck.

2002-06-06T06:44:00.000-07:00

Couldn't resist. I downloaded three Eminem songs and burned them to a CD. I'm going to buy the CD, I swear. I just wanted to listen to some of the songs first. Annnnd...I got that song with him singing about Dre and him fucking with their hats off. Ahaha. He is so gay. It's not as good as 'I'll show you where the ocean is', that remains my number one Em/Dre love confession. Because. Oceans. It's so romantic. Awwww...Meanwhile, I said I'd put out for good hooker fic. Now I'm willing to put out for good Em/Dre. Seriously.

Meanwhile...poor France. Yes, I like them now. Fucking hell. It wasn't faaair! Well, football is rarely fair, but still. It wasn't faair. Annnd...I lost ten bucks because I bet that they'd at least score one goal. One. Is that too much? Sigh. Who knew? And no, I would have won if either side had scored, and I was still rooting for France. It's not about that. I don't like teams that play dirty. Poor poor Trezeguet. Sweet baby boy, he tried his best. Broke my heart. *sob* And no Zidane again. God. Why, oh why?

2002-06-04T08:28:00.000-07:00

Hello blogger. Nothing. Just hello blogger. Went to gym today and almost vomited because my trainer is mean and makes me do squats and stuff and I'm all...nooo...and she's all...sure you can. Excuse me while I go drag my poor abused body...um, not far away from the computer, but i'm slumped here, just so you know.

2002-06-02T10:23:00.000-07:00

So it's The World Cup. I prolly won't be around...'cept to um...update on cup things. Because. It's the fucking world cup. Wheee...!!!

2002-06-02T06:59:00.000-07:00

Meanwhile...I'm all trenty and graaay....Grrraay would be the color if i had a heaart...heh.

2002-06-02T05:10:00.000-07:00

It's all about the spark isn't it? I felt that spark with Eminem. Oh how I love him. Just. When I see a picture I go...guhhh. Instant dying and melting. The Linkin Park boys took a little while longer. I finished my first fic mainly because I just wanted to write something different, something that wasn't Eminem, and when I saw that cute little MTV Cribs thing I was...okay, I can slash them. But then...afterwards. The spark. That oh oh oh feeling that every picture, every comment they make brings to you. Hours pondering their cuteness, their talents, their dorkiness. Picking apart every aspect of them, buying magazines that even mention their name. Yes. Okay. Sigh. I'm an obsessed fangirl. I love my parkboys. I love him especially.

Braddles. Because he's sofuckingtiny. Look at him. He's skin and bones practically. Just this dork with a guitar and he's so so cool because. Just because.

2002-06-01T07:49:00.000-07:00

Wake up, after sleeping for five hours straight and missing the games. Fuck. Sigh.

Am also pornless. She whose name I will not mention owes me some. Although not her fault, but still yes. Handjobs. Yes.

2002-05-30T10:09:00.000-07:00

Whose Sense Of Humor Do YOU Share?

So taking this quiz? No clue which one represented which boy, considering I work on total lack of characterization for those boys. Well, not really...but you have to study them to really go...oh, he's like that, kinda. I find I operate on instinct a lot, rather than actually studying the subject at length. Well, I do my research(although with RPS, research is kind of...heh) after the fact a lot, and sometimes I think I get it right, and sometimes I just go...oh no, that's not what he's like..180 degree turnaround. A little knowledge is necessary though, which is why as cute as alll the musician boys are, I'm not out there slashing the hell out of them. I have to know more than, Boy A : cute, Boy B : cute. Slash. Even with RPS. Giggle...okay, kinda deep discussion for mad writing of porn. But then again, if you consider someone like Krycek, and there is way way less known about him than there is about the average boybander, and even with Krycek there are limits as to where you can take him (constantly weepy and distressed because he burnt dinner for Muldycakes being somewhere. Not.) And again...really, I meant to have a point here or at least go on at length but am tired. Must. Go. Sleep.

2002-05-29T10:01:00.000-07:00

Had planned a really long post on characterization issues, but now am sitting at table with blankie and trying to keep head from falling on keyboard. Is anyone online? Why doesn't anyone love meee? Oh with the paranoia. Heh.

Meanwhile...still have not got new Eminem CD. Am currently very sad and miserable because...Emmm! ::sob:: Oh, and my Mike wallpaper has been replaced by an Eminem one. Shock! Does that mean I'm regaining my mad obsession with him? Probably not, but the love is still there apparently.

So tired. Shall go lie down and watch CSI now.

2002-05-27T10:16:00.000-07:00

So my friends and I are planning to rent a hotel room on the World Cup finals night to watch it. Hopefully it's on a weekend. I think it is. Sat or Sun. So whee!! Yes, because it's that important. Well no, not really. It's more of a lets get together and celebrate this beautiful game but it's actually about us getting together as friends. Well, that's how it is, anyway. :: happy sigh :: I love the World Cup.

2002-05-27T08:54:00.000-07:00

Went to see AOTC finally. Blah blah great whatever, boring whatever.

Mace/Obi-Wan.

Because Anakin is a prat and Samuel L. Jackson and Ewan are so motherfucking cool it hurts.

2002-05-27T08:46:00.000-07:00

So...she said she'd put out for good hooker fic. Well, so would I right about now. So we're putting out together. Any takers? Hookers. Come on.

2002-05-26T02:59:00.000-07:00

Look! Fred wants Wes back! Rolling Stone said so. Wanting to make amends for his little indiscretion with Em no doubt. Those two wacky kids. I am way too easily amused.

2002-05-25T13:13:00.000-07:00

The Eminem show is out!! And with special DEEVEEDEE!! waiilllll. Amazon...could I survive on bread for the next three weeks if i use my credit card? Or wait, and see if it comes to Singapore. Tower. Tower rocks. They always import the best shit ever. Fuck but i want that DVD. skips off to buy I can live on bread. Yes I can.

2002-05-25T07:20:00.000-07:00

need to write something that doesn't feel like me trying to sound like somebody else. Only. I don't like what comes out when I'm writing the way I write. That makes no sense, but it does, in a way. Certain phrases I use. The way my characters feel and think. I want to write dreamy, melancholic pieces with delicate prose and lovely descriptions. My inner voice just ain't down with that. My inner voice sounds like Eminem on crack, or evilsnarly!Chaz. So I second guess and third guess and it all turns to crap.

Meanwhile, freewebz sucks ass, and I'm feeling lots and lots of Chaz love right about now. Must scamper off to watch them live doin' anything right now. Interviews. See if I can't find an interview. He's so cute during interviews.

2002-05-22T09:58:00.000-07:00

I fell asleep to music yesterday. Yes, that's a big thing. I don't sleep to music, not usually. Me with the absolute silence to sleep, yo. It's different. Weird. In the morning i felt...different...heh. Oh i am such a freak.

2002-05-19T12:37:00.000-07:00

They're sex addicts.

What
are your characters?

Quiz made by Zarah.

Congratulations. Of course, this being a completely neutral and objective quiz (bwahahaha!), there are no such things as good and bad results. If there were, however, then you'd be the winner, hands down.Your characters are thinking, having, wanting sex 24/7, and really, characterizations of full-grown, healthy men can't get any more realistic than that. For men are animals, and the instinct to reproduce is what guides them through life. Yes, that's right.

2002-05-19T07:59:00.000-07:00

From The Face Magazine :

A record company person has bought boxes of clothes Eminem might like to be photographed in. There's a selection of t-shirts bearing silly, Toby Mott-style slogans : 'I heart groupies', 'Stop looking at my crotch' and so on. It's hoped that he might wear one that says 'I fucked a Backstreet Boy'. Eminem's manager Paul Rosenburg isn't so sure. 'I think we're over the whole Backstreet Boys thing,'he says. 'We've moved on.'

I think he might've worn a t-shirt that said 'I fucked Chris Kirkpatrick', but damn I would've paid to see the 'Backstreet Boys' one. BTW, the t-shirt he did wear was 'ask me about my penis', which I so would have, yo. He looked so pretty, oi. Want.to.lick.

~Sun

2002-05-16T06:44:00.000-07:00

So this is my sad, sad Girl!Eminem bunny (came up with the help of Xanpet) that i'm never going to write because I can't write Emslash longer than 1000 words. Maybe if i wrote them as seperate stories. Sigh. Nope. Anyway, ignore me, I'm rambling :

- Em wakes up one morning, girl. Platinum blonde hair (real blonde, because I said so), big blue eyes, oh so very pretty, minus the tattooes. Calls Dre, who calls Paul, all sorts of drama whereby Em realizes that it's happened before, apparently to his mother, aka. the bitch that somehow always manages to screw up his life. At least according to him.
-Dre, wisely, tells him to go see Elton, because Elton, you know. Convinces him to start dressing like a girl, after he hides of course, not that it'd be hard exactly, considering how Em likes to dress in drag even without the correct anatomy.
-Goes to party! Meets Britney, who hits on him. Much confusion, because...he's homophobic, but if he sleeps with her he's gay, but then he's not, because he's a guy. Oh dear. But. No one turns down Britney, yo. So yada yada...mmm, technically femslash. Heh.
-Meets Justin the next day, aka. the beard. They're both BritandJu, very happily gay. Em snarks, Justin is amused and intruiged. Freaky, pretty blonde thing, the oddest and loveliest girl Brit has ever brought home.
-Em and Britney, kinda seeing each other. Not exclusively, but there's seeage. Em is all...I'm fucking Britney Spears, yo. Ignores Dre, who's all..'You're what?' But Em's just going with it here. Spends a lot of time with Justin, too. Because.
-Only now he's a girl, he can't see his kid or his brother. Poor, poor Em. Just when everything is going his way, life fucks him over one more time. So he's on the phone explaining to Hailie why Dada can't come see her for a while, and when he hangs up he's all crying and Justin comes over and is all comforting and stuff. Maybe they kiss, but then they both stop, horrified. Because Justin is so gay and Em is so(or so he thinks) not.
-But then Britney decides that Justin has to take Em to this party, because she can't go. Justin is all, I can't take a girl to a party when I'm supposed to be dating you, but Brit is all...let the rumors fly, so what? But Justin really doesn't wanna go because he doesn't want to be alone with Em and Em doesn't want to go for the same reason, but neither of them can say no to Britney.
-Em dresses really really pretty, and they go. Get a little drunk. Do what comes naturally, yo. Next day, more and more confusion. Justin is 'I can't be straight.' Em is 'No fucking way I'm a faggot.' Justin handles it better than Em, decides he can control his straightness as much as he could his being gay, but Em freaks.
-Only he's lonely, and he's got no one to talk to, and Britney is losing interest, and he really wants Justin. A lot. So he comes back, and there's a lot of het love all over the damned place. But of course, one day Em wakes up and he's back to being a guy. Justin is in shock, but he recognizes Em as Em, and he's all...'I can't believe this, but...hey, guess I'm still gay, huh?' Badly handled, because Em punches him out and runs off.

And then...I don't know. Not like i'll be able to write it anyway, but it's a nice idea.

2002-05-15T12:20:00.000-07:00

So go me, I'm updating. After almost a month!! The horror!! I'm a horrible, horrible blogger. But! Look! Snippet!! Urm..my first attempt at actual 100% puppies fic. Cliches and all. Yes. Go me.

~~~~
So she goes out onto the balcony and she lights a cigarette. Not because she really smokes or anything, well she does, but Justin doesn’t like smoking, doesn’t like people who smoke. Understandable, smoking is bad for you. Justin’s not the only one that says so. Everyone says so, so it must be true. Doesn’t stop everyone from smoking though. Except for her.

She’s not supposed to. She’s supposed to be…what exactly? Somewhere between the him going ‘we can’t get married now because we’re too young’ with that panicked, trapped look on his face to the her figuring out – or her walking in on the…on them, and then she knows it’s ‘we can’t get married now because I’m busy fucking Chris my best friend my buddy my pal’, somewhere between that and that she forgets what she’s supposed to do and not to.

Because Justin sure as hell wasn’t supposed to be doing that, that’s for sure. Smoking, bad habit she picked up somewhere between the first album and the second, pretty much because she wasn’t supposed to, and she quit, too. For him.

But all that is…all that now. Past tense. So she can go out and stand there and smoke her damned cigarette and watch the gray smoke rise around her and flick ashes to the ground below and not think about what she’s not supposed to do. At least for a while.

And maybe if she lingers there long enough there’ll be a cameraman that shows up – and there’s always a cameraman that shows up – and she’ll start when she notices him and run back in, cursing and swearing and regretting the fallout almost immediately, but for that second there she’ll stand there and let him take that damned picture, if only because it might just take the heat of that whole ‘why did they break up’ mess, and for a while, like right now, because she could just as easily be doing this inside where it’s safe, she might not even care.

Doing what she’s supposed to, apparently gets her being the beard, the fucking pansy with no clue as to what is going on until it, or they, hit her right in the face, with his moaning and chanting Chris’ name over and over again; he never did that, not with her, never sounded like his world was disappearing and she was the only one there to anchor him to it.

Could have lived with it if they were just getting it off, maybe…and that’s just as sad but she knows herself well enough to know that it’s true, and that the reason might not even be that she loves Justin that much either. More like she’s in love with the image of them, of Britney and Justin, in matching clothes and so enamored with each other, the perfect celebrity couple. Golden couple.

That’s what he said, anyway. Which made it what? Her fault? She hung up the phone on him – didn’t allow him to meet her face to face after the first time and he couldn’t deny that he and Chris were so much more than just fuck-buddies or whatever. Blushed, blushed when she said ‘You’re in love with him, aren’t you?’ and ducked his head, stared at his feet like he always did when he didn’t want to answer a question. It was enough. She’d walked out then, like she’d hung up just now, and unplugged the phone for good measure just in case. Then went out to the balcony to smoke.

The white curtains are blowing at her back, and she’s cold so she takes another deep puff of the cig and gets ready to go in again; is almost certain, as she draws the flimsy material aside, that she hears the click of a camera going off.

~~~~

2002-04-05T22:17:00.000-08:00

Okay..so sob...I know that the few people that read my blog don't really read LP slash no matter how much I try to pimp it, but...y'all *have* to *have* to *have* to read this. Girl!Chester. Yes! It's just perfect. Go read! Boy A, Boy B..it's okay, it's fine. It's Girl!Chester! This by the way is Chester. He was born to be a girl. This is Mike. Another pic of Chester, because I can.

2002-04-05T09:23:00.000-08:00

The Amazing Race people went to Thailand. I been to Thailand, heh. You know you can drive to Thailand from here? Actually if I'm not wrong you can go all the way to Pakistan, India, China, from here. Take you forever, but to Thailand I think it's about 14 hours by bus. They have tours, but personally I'd rather take a plane. 14 hours?! Apparently when the US attacked Afghanistan there was a guy in Malaysia that got on a bicycle and decided he was going over to Afghanistan to 'fight the good fight' or whatever. Ahahahaha. They caught up with him in Thailand I believe. Poor guy. I would have let him go, I mean if you want to die, why should people stop you? Of course, I don't know how long it would have taken him to cycle all the way to Afghanistan. Anyhoo, Thailand is way cooler on TV than it actually is isn't it? Or maybe it's just me. Probably it's because I was on tour (never again, btw. Going on tour sucks). The temples were cool though. Dude, how much do I love Oswald and Danny? I mean really love them. I missed the first few episodes kinda, well I was watching but not really concentrating you know? But when they were onscreen. Oi are they adorable!

2002-04-03T09:08:00.000-08:00

God, I seem to have abandoned my blog haven't I? Man...that's bad. Not so much abandoned, just that I'm tired. Work plus studies three times a week plus gym twice a week plus the fact that I actually seem to be writing for a change plus the fact that I'm in love and it's complicated as hell leaves me drained and...and a bad blogger. Things will get better. My job is stressful now, tenders going out, I can't finish it, I have assignments due, I need to write for some reason, so yeah. Weekends. I live for weekends. Doing my assignments on the weekend. *bangs head against desk*..Yes I'm a big whiner, sue me.

2002-03-30T08:25:00.000-08:00

I just read this. Now if you'll excuse me I'll be curled up in a corner and crying.

2002-03-30T07:24:00.000-08:00

But then again, at the same time I'm also all about the 'I need luurve, attention and lots and lots of friends to keep me company.' Houston, we have a problem. Yes we do.

2002-03-29T23:24:00.000-08:00

I'm not a people person apparently. Hahahaha...big surprise, right? Even online, I'm not a people person. I'm big on stalking, I do that rather well, but I tend to be more of the leave me alone kind of gal. It's weird. Introvert? More like anti-social. Seriously anti-social. Sigh.

2002-03-29T21:18:00.000-08:00

Words that I love starting with the letter S.

Shimmy.
Sparkly.
Shimmer.
Sex.
Slide.
Smooth.
Sway.

2002-03-29T08:59:00.000-08:00

Sigh. Tonight I shall sit down at my computer and write. Not just write either. I would like to write a story whereby the entire purpose of the story isn't to get two guys together to have sex. No, hey. I'm serious. Okay, not really, of course there must be slash, but I only ever write it seems because I want them to have the sex or the love or the whatever, and the plot is incidental. Is that wrong? I mean, I only ever *read* slash so obviously that's what I write, and I never really need the plot either, so. Aiyee. Confused.

2002-03-27T07:35:00.000-08:00

Well okay then. That little outburst was brought to you by an obviously going-bloody-insane Sun, but I'm happy to report that she has started taking her medication again and is therefore now relatively normal. Relatively.

2002-03-27T07:26:00.000-08:00

Lance in Spaaacccceeee!! Yeah I'm late to the party but I saw the video curtesy of Alicia, and I'd be doing live links right now but my mouse hates me so I'll have to do it later but...LANCE IN SPACE!!!! I HEART LANCE!!! SQUEEEEE!! YEA. Done. He's sooooo cuttee....

2002-03-26T07:41:00.000-08:00

I went to the gym today. The most exercise I've had in...heh...hell of a long time. My whole body aches, although I didn't really do much exercise. Mostly I just hung around while my cousin exercised. Yeah, I'm gonna get fit soon, sure I am.

2002-03-23T06:06:00.000-08:00

*Nsync Dirty Pop CD's from people make me very very happy. Because pretty sparkly dancing boys make me happy. They do.

Oh and for the record, Justin/Eminem/Nick/Aaron...no...uh-huh. No way. Evil evil women. Evil. holds up cross to get rid of evil plot bunnies

2002-03-22T20:48:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I wonder when exactly it was that I stopped caring what was on tv, stopped watching most tv shows (with the exception of maybe Buffy and Dark Angel). I used to be a tv 'ho. Every single day, there was guaranteed to be something I loved enough to not be able to miss. Nowadays it's like, Monday...bleh. Pass. Tuesday, Buffy..yaay. Wednesday, David E. Kelley. Definitely pass. Thursdays and Fridays, um...what's on MTV? Heh. MTV has become my new god. We worship the pretty people who sing and dance just for us, yes we do.

2002-03-22T11:35:00.000-08:00

Ahahahahaha!!! Have. To. Pimp. Cannot. Help. It.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Whatever you say, boss.” I turn around angered and return to my desk. The little prick. Mr. I Don’t Give A Fuck That You Consoled Me Last Night When I Needed It Because Today It Has Been Erased From My Memory. Mr. Suck Me Then Get Out Because Joe Will Be Back Soon. Mr. Your Can Crawl Up My Ass With A Magnifying Glass And Still Not Find The Bug In My Grass. That last one has a nice ring to it. Maybe I should give up rock and roll and become a rapper.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Can't remember the last time a story had me laughing this hard. Way, way cool. Although I don't know why only the first paragraph of the link is highlighted. ::Grumble:: Stupid blogger. Edited because of stupid blogger. Stupid stupid blogger. Still funny, though. Go read.

2002-03-20T08:44:00.000-08:00

But then you know, remarkably I feel so much better. Listening to Aaron Carter helps a lot. Andrea helps a lot. I'm not to young, not to old...he's stepping out with the older boys...

‘Hey, you. Boy.’ Em calls out to fairy boy number one.

The boy turns around slowly and scowls at him. ‘Yeah? What do you want?’

‘What do you think?’

Fairy boy rolls his eyes. Points down the hall.

‘Thanks.’ He turns to head in that direction.

‘Might want to wait a while, though. He’s in an interview.’

Fuck. Em looks around the backstage arena. Not enough people around for him to really blend in. Behind him, the heavy sigh of the reluctantly obligated.

‘Come on. My dressing room’s round the corner.’ Walks away without looking back.

Em frowns slightly. One last slightly panicked look around. Follows.

*********
He picks up the photo frame in the way too luxurious dressing room. Britney. Huh. Blondie grabs it from him, places it back on the side table.

‘Don’t think she’d be to pleased to find you in here, let alone ogling her photo.’

‘I wasn’t..ok, yeah man, whatever.’ He flops down on the couch and laces his fingers behind his head. Smiles cheerily up at fruhead. ‘Afraid of your bitch, Timberlake?’

‘Nah, just worried she’ll beat you up, and JC will get all bent out of shape.’ He’s on his way out the door before Em can even think of giving him back. ‘I’ll tell JC to come find you here when you’re gone. Don’t touch anything.’

‘Why would I –‘

The door slams shut.

Well fuck you too, asshole. Ohh..and now that’s clever. And original. Slim fucking shady, sure.

He gets off the couch and slams the photo frame face down.Walks over to the magazine rack. Newsweek. Esquire. Vanity Fair. Architectural fucking Digest. Freak. The CD’s are worse. Eclectic collection of stuff. Some of the shit he himself has in his record collection. The Marshall Mathers LP.

Maybe it was JC’s.

Who was – not the fuck here yet. Ten minutes, and it wasn’t like he could leave, not with the possibility of some reporter running around snapping photos. Yeah, I got a photo for you, bitch. The prettiest boy in *Nynsc sucking my dick, you wanna see that? Yessir, I do want to fucking destroy my career and lose all that respect I bled for to get. Not funny. Not even close. And so what if the CD belonged to JC and not Justin whatshisname? Not like one boyband member was different from another. Um, hello? Of course it is, you’re not fucking Justin, are you?

Like he was on cue, the door opens. Em spins around, hides the CD guiltily behind his back.

‘Hey.’

‘Hey.’ Dude looks ridiculously happy to see him. Comes over and gives him a fucking hug, like they’re a couple of teenaged lovers reunited after a long night apart. It freaks him the fuck out. He doesn’t know what to do with his arms. In the end he decides the polite thing to do would be to just hug him back.

2002-03-20T08:01:00.000-08:00

Dave seems to have replaced Em as my torture toy. Poor, poor boy.

Edited to say : I so totally blame Kino for this.

2002-03-20T07:23:00.000-08:00

Because Andrea said after reading the first two snippets...Em/Dave...nice? (and I was going, hell yeah babe. feel the pretty boy love) Then she said a lot of other things that I'm, uh..not dealing with right now but it made me write the third part, so. Yeah.

Brad picks him up, doesn't comment on the bruises. Dave shivers and hugs himself tight.

It was supposed to be nice. It wasn't supposed to be...

It was anything but. Same blonde translucent loveliness only there was rage and hate and all that...

and all that and it was still better than Mike.

He stares at the angry red welts on his wrists.

All that and it's still better than Mike.

He has the number, slipped into his jeans pocket and all he had wanted to do at the time was scream and get away as fast as possible. Burn everything. Scratch at his skin until there was nothing left. That piece of paper was going first.

Still.

He has the number.

He knows he'll call.

2002-03-20T07:18:00.000-08:00

Well...due to the fact that I absolutely can find nothing of worth to put in my blog or my livejournal nowadays without being a total ball of funlessness, I've decided that until I feel human again the few poor poor readers of my journals have to suffer while i write endless pointless snippets. I humbly apologize. Yes. Goodnight.

Mike’s pissed. Nothing new, his moods seem to waver between ‘pissed’ and ‘really fucking pissed’ recently. Brad strums his guitar and ignores him as he bangs on the computer keyboard like it personally offended him.

‘Where’s Dave?’

‘What?’ He glances up to see Mike turned around in his chair and staring at him.

‘Dave,’ Mike repeats impatiently. ‘You know, our bass player. Red hair, whiny little thing. Do you know where he is? I don’t think I saw him after the show.’

‘Oh. Dave. Yeah..I dunno.’ He looks back down at his guitar, grateful that the beard at least partly hides his blush. Doesn’t want Mike to push, knows he’ll spill if he does. Bad liar, especially when it came to Mike.

He doesn’t hear anything for about a minute, and when he can’t stand it anymore he finally raises his eyes to find Mike staring intently at him, lips thinned slightly.

‘Look, I swear I don’t know where he is, okay? What am I, his fucking babysitter?’ Pitch, got to start learning how to make his voice sound less squeaky.

Mike just nods his head shortly though, doesn’t even respond to the rudeness. He turns back to the computer and starts hammering away again.

Brad almost sighs in relief, that’s how fucking relieved he is. Because if Mike finds out that he saw Dave getting into Eminem’s limousine after the show…if Mike finds out…

He wonders how many categories there are higher than ‘really fucking pissed.’

******************************

They make out in the limousine. Dave thinks Em might be drunk. He’s a little high too, so it’s all good. Sparkly good, with bright colors and warm pretty things. Mike wouldn’t approve. Mike wasn’t big on substance abuse of any kind. Mike got off on different kinds of abuse.

But. He’s not going to think of Mike tonight. Not here, not now. Slow, wet and heavy kisses and his spine is wedged against a door handle and his leg wants to fall asleep and ohh yeah..blonde hair and tattoos and heated flesh pressed against his and Em pulls back just a little to say, ‘You wanna…’

‘Yeah..’ he grins and reaches his hand up to drag him down again. Lips, tongue but Em whispers against his mouth, ‘Not here…uh, when we get back to the hotel okay?’

Dave giggles. ‘Don’t want to make a mess in the limo?’

‘No…just…it’ll be better that way. Nicer.’ Pulls back again and big blue eyes blink in all seriousness at him.

Oh.

Oh.

He hasn’t had nice in a long – he can’t even remember how long it’s been since….

He’s not going to think about Mike tonight.

2002-03-19T09:08:00.000-08:00

Okie..tapped out. Going to bed. Feel much anti-social behaviour coming on. Not good. Ack. Hopefully it's just caused by exhaustion and not one of my deep dark moods that make me endlessly mean and depressing to be around.

2002-03-19T08:59:00.000-08:00

I'm so dead dead dead tired. Urk. Want to sleep but afraid if I do then tomorrow will come and I have to go to work. My mother says I was like this even as a kid. Eyes closing, sleepy as hell but absolutely refusing to go to bed. The hours of the day are too short sometimes I think.

2002-03-18T09:51:00.000-08:00

Okie...sorry, cannot get any Ubersegzy (new fav. word by the way) icons for the livejournal (have been banned from using pretty Nick pics)..however! We are now signing off on our names..::shameless pimping::...Come visit.. We squee about Linkin Park a lot. Okay, that's pretty much all we squee about.

2002-03-17T03:31:00.000-08:00

And while I'm really really bored and NO ONE wants to talk to me...oh blogger, at least I have you to ramble endlessly to..

Get up!’ Hissed in his ear and he’s sleeping, man.

‘Go ‘way.’ Mumbles that, tries to bury himself under his pillow – it’s snatched from him, then his blankets are whisked away. ‘Hey…’ protests half-heartedly; doesn’t want to break his happy sleep cycle. No such luck. Someone shakes him violently, pulls at his arm - he cracks open one eye, stares blearily at a flustered and harried Em.

‘Get up!’ he repeats. ‘You gotta leave now, or at least hide. Fuck!’ Taut with tension and worry.

‘What? What’s wrong?’ He’s fully awake now.

‘Dre’s here. You sleep like the fucking dead, you know that? Stop wasting time, get the fuck up out of my bed.’

‘I know. I’ve been known to sleep through earthquakes. I take pride in that.’ JC beams at Em.

Stares at him like he’s lost his mind : You want to discuss your sleeping habits *now* - you fucking mental? ‘Didn’t you hear what I said? Dre’s downstairs, in my fucking house. If he catches you here – you can’t fucking be here. Go hide…somewhere..’ Looks around wildly, points to the walk in wardrobe. ‘There, go wait in there until he’s gone.’

‘You’re kidding me, right?’

‘Do I look like I’m fucking kidding you? If he catches you here – I don’t even wanna think what’s gonna happen if he catches you here – he’ll fucking kill me.’

‘Why? You think he’ll be jealous to see you with another man?’

That earns him another look before the sulky mouth tightens in anger. ‘Get in the fucking closet now or I’ll drag your ass in there myself.’

JC thinks the likelihood of him managing to accomplish that is pretty slim, but he hauls himself from the bed anyway. Allows Em to practically push him into the closet, slamming the door shut with a threatening ‘Stay!’

Wonderful. He’s hiding. In the closet. While two of the most openly homophobic men in the industry do – whatever it is that they’re doing a few rooms away from him. Presumably it’s something manly. And why did he have to go in the closet, anyway? He wonders if Dre made a habit of coming up into Em's bedroom. Always wanted to meet the infamous Dr. Dre. If he were the spiteful sort he’d march himself right on down, maybe wrap a towel around his waist – naked would be overkill – ‘Marshall, honeybuns. Can’t find the vanilla scented shampoo. Could you help me please?’ If he were the spiteful sort. If he never wanted Em to talk to him again. He sighs, leans his head back against the door. Slides down into sitting position. The man was so going to pay for this.

2002-03-17T01:36:00.000-08:00

Okay, they're blue.

2002-03-17T01:23:00.000-08:00

I actually have no clue what color JC's eyes are. I'm lame, very very lame. *hangs head*

2002-03-17T01:19:00.000-08:00

'Dre..Dre, I'm *sorry*. It wasn't my fault! I was possessed by demons.' Em ignores the look of incredulity JC shoots him and stares pleadingly at Dre.

'Say what?' He's about as convinced as JC is.

Not good.

'Demons. They, uh...'

'They made you what? Fall on this,' he waves at JC dismissively, 'this boyband fruitcake's dick?'

'Yes! I mean...no I mea -' Em stammers out just as JC goes, 'Hey! Who are you calling a fruitcake?'

'Shut up, C.'

JC closes his mouth abruptly and narrows blue eyes at him. Pissed.

Dre looks as if he can't decide which one of them to kill first.

Not good.

2002-03-17T00:07:00.000-08:00

Edited to say here being a forum that I just came to know about, because it was highlighted in the newspapers as a forum that has been banned by many corporations over here for spreading gossip and confidential information about bigwigs and major companies. *smirk* Wonder if there is any dirt there about my lame ass company.

From here, don't know where it originally came from :

We've established that demons have a strong interest in illicit human sexuality, and that illicit sexual activity is defined by the Bible as any sexuality outside the bounds and bonds of legal marriage. Since homosexuality is illicit sexual activity, it follows that demons are interested in establishing and perpetuating homosexuality.

The Spring 1975 issue of the Journal of the Christian Medical Society documents a fascinating case concerning homosexual activity and demon possession. This case involved a Christian psychiatrist who was seeing a female patient who was an activist in the gay and lesbian community. At the same time, she was troubled by demon possession and was eventually delivered. In a later counseling session, she said to her psychiatrist, "Know what? I'm not a lesbian."

"Oh, when did you decide to give it up?"

"Decide nothing!. I'm, just not-- not since the demons left!"

This case provides a strong indication that homosexuality can be caused by demon possession.

2002-03-16T23:36:00.000-08:00

I'm supposed to be cross posting everything aren't I? I am.

2002-03-16T19:44:00.000-08:00

I figure if i add like one link a day eventually i'll have something resembling an actual blog, no? Today I added my home page, which is sadly enough Google. The mother of all search engines, yo.

2002-03-16T06:29:00.000-08:00

The great thing about obscure fandoms it that sometimes, sometimes...it just so happens that there are kick ass writers in them, like Alias Stella, who writes not only kick ass Linkin Park slash, but also Incubus slash, y'all. Echo, Oceans and Be here now. Oh, and while I'm at it, this LP A/U has had me in stitches : The Office, and this : Deimos has had me terrified for the past few days.

2002-03-15T11:44:00.000-08:00

Andrea, whom I love, has sent me a lovely package which includes a poster with get this : the bouncylicious Linkin Park on one side and the scrumptious Nick on the other.

Decisions, decisions! Who goes on the front and who goes back?! Ack!

2002-03-15T11:40:00.000-08:00

Cross posting this from my lj just because. Hell, I'm gonna crosspost everything just because. It's too difficult to think, post here, post there..where? Not that there are like legions of people so fascinated with my ramblings that they actually have to exist in more than one place, but it's my blog and our lj. So.

I was thinking about why the fake Eminem isn't gay. (there are fake everybodies apparently on lj. It's scary. There's a fake Hailie Jade, which is, um...kinda disturbing but whatever) I think he should be gay. All the LP boys are slashers, Em sooo needs to be slashed.

'I thought he hated fags,' Brad says.

Lethal shrugs and snorts derisively, 'Yeah, that's what Fred thought at first too. Who knew? Although I don't know what the fuck he was thinking when he decided he wanted piece of that action. I told him, the guy has got issues man. But did he listen? Nooo...and now look at the mess.'

'Yeah dude. “Girls” was like harsh.'

'Word.' Mike agrees with Brad, frowns. 'So they're over for sure, right?'

'After that little bitch fit? Fuck yeah they're over. Em's a slut though. Bet he's already putting the make on another poor sucker gonna get bowled over by his big baby blues and forget he's a fucking psychopath.'

'I see.' Mike says. His gaze shifts to the corner of the stage, where Dave is talking animatedly to one Marshall Bruce Mathers the Third. Eminem is leaning in close, a pale tattooed arm draped casually around Dave's t-shirt clad shoulders.

Lethal's smile fades slightly as Mike’s face hardens.

Brad thinks : Uh-oh

Oh relax and stop running away. I'm not going to write it. Although ::giggle::...Linkin Park, D12 and Limp Bizkit somehow thrown together for a concert or something. Em is on the rebound, Dave just Can't Say No and poor Mike finds himself suddenly missing one Phoenix shaped bitch. Maybe Fred Durst decides he forgives Em and wants him back. Angst! Drama! Lots of gay boys having gay sex in inappropriate places! Okay, I'm kidding...I'm kidding...I swear! young, dumb and full of come..yo, yo, yo...

2002-03-15T06:56:00.000-08:00

My stupid PC. Or net. Or whatever. I realized that unless I refresh whenever i go to a blog, chances are I'm going to get to an older version of the page, regardless of whether they updated or not. I thought that it was because I left my PC on all night, but I only just switched it on and it's the same thing! Arrghhh...

2002-03-14T10:36:00.000-08:00

My cousin, I like her. But sometimes she just...arrgh. Today at Disney on Ice, there was a couple sitting in front of us, and the guy was a...what do you call it, 'butch'? And she was all : look at that, look at that, that guy, he's a girl! And she kept staring at them with this look on her face. It's not the first time she has done that, she thinks homosexuality is unnatural and wrong and blah blah and okay fine, you feel that way, I have no interest in arguing over your stupidity. But she obsesses over it. I don't know why, honestly. Maybe she has some issues she hasn't resolved yet or something. Whatever it is, I hope she gets over them and fast, because I'm losing patience with her. I just...arrrgh! I'm pretty easygoing, I can put up with almost anything and not take it personally but she's driving me crazy.

2002-03-14T08:48:00.000-08:00

Feel sudden urge to go download 'Beauty and the Beast' and 'Colors of the wind' from Kazaa. Somebody stop me please. Damn mice!

2002-03-14T08:46:00.000-08:00

I went to see Disney on Ice. Yes, I know, two days in a row. We couldn't get tickets on any other day. Possibly not the best idea to go see dancing mice the day after going to see Alegria but it was all right.

2002-03-13T10:59:00.000-08:00

So my blog is finally back up. Aik. Realized I haven't been blogging much recently. Bad me, but I find myself curiously with nothing much to say in the past week or so. Possibly because am dead tired. Possibly because am dead confused with having a livejournal and a blog and not knowing what to post where. Probably the former. But...I went to see the circus today. (the circus du solei - and I'm aware I'm spelling it wrong but I'm a bad speller and we've already established that so lets move along shall we?) Anyway, I have nothing much to say about it now because it was just so fucking awesome I'm still recovering. Totally worth that I'm going to be shit deep in debt for the next couple of months and have to survive on instant noodles.

I'll talk about it later, but for now I have to go on about what happened afterwards. I went to see it with my cousin, and as we were walking back to her car, there was some kind of commotion on the main road. There was a guy lying on it in front of a taxi, and then he got up and barreled past us, followed closely by another guy, presumably his friend. Collapsed into a heap a few metres behind us, surrounded by more of his friends. We actually didn't know they were his friends, I was thinking they'd gotten into a fight or something. But apparently they were, because an ambulance arrived and they were all calling it over. I was about to leave, but my cousin aka. the big incredible busybody, insisted that we stand around and gawk at the spectacle. I kept telling her, 'Merle, we gotta go. Merle, it's embarassing standing around like idiots. Merrrlee...' And she refused to listen, even made us go down the street to *ask* someone what had happened. And ahem...what had happened was apparently sweaty collapsing boy's girlfriend wanted to break up with him, and he couldn't handle it and decided to try and kill himself. By, get this...climbing on top of an approaching taxi (I assume it must have slowed down or stopped when it saw him in the middle of the road) and asking the poor driver to please run him over before getting down and positioning himself in front of it(which was when we came in). I know, attempted suicide is not funny and I shouldn't have laughed but bwah! The way the girl described it to us was just too precious. Funniest thing I heard all day. My cousin was all 'The taxi driver must have gotten the shock of his life.' and she was 'Ya lah, of course crazy guy climb on top of your taxi and ask you to kill him you'll definitely be shocked one what.'

But oh come on, if you really wanted to kill yourself you wouldn't do *that* would you? So yeah, I was highly amused.

2002-03-11T08:53:00.000-08:00

So..this picture got me thinking. Of the days when *Nsync were a band that I didn't so much as hate but more like wasn't very aware of their existance at all. Mostly due to the fact that I'd stopped listening to the radio by then. All I knew about them was that Justin was dating Britney..and ::cough::cough:: I was happy for them, because Justin used to be my fav. puppy. No, he used to be the only puppy whose name I knew, and I liked him, and my friend said, 'Him? I was so disappointed when I found out he was dating Britney. Of all of them, why *him*? He looks so ugly!' And no, I don't think he's ugly now, I definitely don't, but he's certainly not my favorite, and I have to go : What was I thinking? Oh the shame.

2002-03-09T16:48:00.000-08:00

So I'm listening to this kick-ass CD now sent by a lovely nameless girl(yeah, I'm about as subtle as Glace is), which has pictures! Of purty boys on it! And an *Nsync card, which is so going on my top of my PC - to be hidden of course when the bf comes over to visit. Or not. Let him mock.

Him : You bought this?
Me : No, someone sent it to me. Aren't they pretty?
Him : No! And you have friends who are *Nsync fans?
Me : Hey, shall we talk about your cousin and best mate the BSB fan? Huh? Shall we? And for the last time stop making fun of my taste in music okay? So what if I like boybands and Eminem? I'm not the one that owns CDs by 'vampiric death metal' bands.

Yes, we have issues. I won't go into them now. Because...

I'm feeling all sorts of warm-hot-fuzzy-luuurrve, hell yeah. There's just something about music and boys in blue jeans and men with green eyes and big baby blues and ooh...

2002-03-09T16:25:00.000-08:00

Bwah! That's just...bwah!

2002-03-09T13:26:00.000-08:00

I didn't realise that I didn't post anything for three days. I think I'm tired. RL catching up with me. Classes started..Monday, Wednesdays and Thursdays, yeah fuck. I can't decide which I hate more, the job or the studies. I could quit both, but I've been told more than once that I *never* go through with anything or stick with anything for long, so I'm trying. Responsible adult. Go me.

2002-03-08T08:57:00.000-08:00

Okay...from MTV asia :

"Each was blaming the other for me leaving. I mean, they were scrapping on the floor. Little did they realise I didn't like either of them."

Bwah. He is so gay.

2002-03-08T08:50:00.000-08:00

You are the epitome of hybridity, you're LINKIN PARK! You can safely say there's not that many other people just like you, you're either a clash of several subcultures or in a category all your own. You're also known to be weird and just totally off the wall with your friends.
So which BAND are YOU?

2002-03-08T08:15:00.000-08:00

So my spelling. Bad huh? *hits self on head repeatedly with spell checker*. Bad...bad...Aiyeee!

2002-03-05T21:36:00.000-08:00

From here :

Which Rock Chick Are You?

And for no reason whatsoever :

I'm only happy when it rains
I'm only happy when it's complicated
And though I know you can't appreciate it
I'm only happy when it rains

You know I love it when the news is bad
And why it feels so good to feel so sad
I'm only happy when it rains

Pour your misery down, pour your misery down on me
Pour your misery down, pour your misery down on me

I'm only happy when it rains
I feel good when things are going wrong
I only listen to the sad, sad songs
I'm only happy when it rains

I only smile in the dark
My only comfort is the night gone black
I didn't accidentally tell you that
I'm only happy when it rains

You'll get the message by the time I'm through
When I complain about me and you
I'm only happy when it rains

Pour your misery down, Pour your misery down
Pour your misery down on me Pour your misery down
Pour your misery down Pour your misery down
Pour your misery down on me Pour your misery down
Pour your misery down Pour your misery down
Pour your misery down on me Pour your misery down
Pour your misery down

You can keep me company
As long as you don't care

I'm only happy when it rains
You wanna hear about my new obsession?
I'm riding high upon a deep depression
I'm only happy when it rains
Pour some misery down on me

I'm only happy when it rains
Pour some misery down on me
I'm only happy when it rains
Pour some misery down on me
I'm only happy when it rains
Pour some misery down on me
I'm only happy when it rains
Pour some misery down on me

2002-03-05T21:25:00.000-08:00

You're Spike. An English badass. At least you were until they put that stupid chip in your head. And then you fell in love with the slayer... Snap out of it, man!

Find your inner vampire.

Got this from amezri, and I am not a happy camper. Did i mention how I dislike Spike? Oh, okay now I'm going to start. I don't so much hate him, in fact I worship his hotness and his evilness. It's just that, well..Buffy deserves better. I'm a slayer kind of gal, I can't help it. I love her. I love that she's not perfect. She whines, she makes bad decisions, she can be jealous and spiteful at times. She's also strong and beautiful and she's the fucking chosen one and she deserves *better* than some chipped vampire who only loves her because he can't hate her effectively anymore. Hey, lets face it, all that aggression towards the Slayer had to go *somewhere* didn't it? Love is pretty darned close. So yeah. Buffy, please. And...phew. I'm done. I actually could go on for quite a while about why Buffy needs to stake Spike now but I won't. All IMO of course.

2002-03-05T04:59:00.000-08:00

So I would be back in the land of the living. *cough spit hack* Somewhat. I'm infectious! Ack! Sorry..me sick is me incoherent and...mostly incoherent.

2002-03-05T04:41:00.000-08:00

Headache...my eardrums feel like they're trying to explode. Arrgh! I might be getting sick. Or allergies. Darned allergies. Must go...stare at PC screen with eyes half shut. Yes.

2002-03-04T10:32:00.000-08:00

Oh ack! Oz on DVD. OZ ON DVD! Ack! Prison sex! Boys kissing! Urm, also loads of violence, gore and the plots supposedly kick ass. But...prison sex! 'Oz didn't make you a bitch...you were born one.'

2002-03-04T10:21:00.000-08:00

I would like to thank ftp planet for sending me an email thanking me for downloading the 30 day evaluation of WS_FTP Pro after it gave me a "file not found" page when I tried downloading it in the first place.

2002-03-04T10:09:00.000-08:00

Look what I did! I'm so proud...only took me..urm, way too long..we shall not go into the process shall we? It's the results that count..

2002-03-04T09:34:00.000-08:00

Yahoo is down apparently. *scowl*

2002-03-04T08:51:00.000-08:00

From here and here, forgot where I saw it first :

and get a free fic idea

Uh-oh, so Justin seems to have a coke addiction and an affinity for prostitues. JC finds out (feel free to substitute couple of your choice) and tries to intervene. Justin beats him, but then tells him that it's "[JC's] damn fault for never loving [him] back! Bastard!" JC is at a loss, and he ends up recoiling from the group, becoming dark and lonely, and a basic posterboy for depression. Justin gets really drugged up one day and is hauled to the hospital where the doctors inform JC that his secret love doesn't have much of a chance to live. There is a whole chapter about JC feeling guilty and being sorry, and then something big happens...

2002-03-03T08:49:00.000-08:00

Andrea and me got LJ'ed up. No reason. Okay yes. One long Linkin Park love fest? Giggle..that's my blog... Plus..how does one add linky loos to this blog? I have to have to go tear my hair out as I oh so slowly figure it out. See, it took me like forever to figure out how to modify the *colors*.

2002-03-02T17:16:00.000-08:00

Wow you're heroin! Thats pretty hardcore. How can you like needles? They frighten me.

2002-03-02T12:26:00.000-08:00

I went shopping. Boy did I go shopping. I bought :

- Rolling Stone Magazine (LP article)

- Circus Magazine (LP pictures)

- Linkin Park : In the end (single) - Version 1 & 2

- Dr. Dre : Forgot about Dre (single)

- D12 : Fight Music (single)

- Backstreet Boys : Greatest Hits Chapter One. It came with a bonus ::cough::karaoke::cough VCD. I asked the guy, are they actual music videos, and what if they're not?(they are, but there's words across the bottom of the screen. bleah. But hey, now I can sing along to Nick! Although now whenever I listen to the lyrics I always think of the darned MSTing of their songs) He says there's a 14 day return policy. There is? Like, what's to prevent someone from buying and ripping and returning it for something else? No, I wouldn't. I dl the shit, if I buy I buy to keep. Just wondering. It also came with a remix CD of 6 of their songs. So whee! Not bad at all.

- Heavier than Heaven : The Biography of Curt Cobain.

Things I desperately wanted to buy but ran out of cash :

Blackadder, the entire series on DVD (My second favorite series ever, next to QAF.)

Peter David's ST : New Frontier series No #10 & #11.

The Sixth Sense DVD.

The Fast & The Furious VCD.

And I've been bitching about how I have no money. THIS is why I have no money! On a slightly unrelated note, my uncle brought back 'The Queen of the Damned' vcd. So now i can stop dl it on the crappy morpheus that refuses to dl it anyway.

2002-03-02T04:14:00.000-08:00

Must stop using fuck and dude when typing. I have no idea why. I never use those words when I speak. No, not even fuck. I don't swear much, as hard as it might be to believe. Recently though, ever other word I type seems to want to include those words somehow. It's...weird is what it is. Maybe it's all the fic I've been reading. In the non rps fandoms, you don't usually come across expletives, mostly because people in Buffyverse or DS or any network tv program don't swear much, and yeah it's probably due to ratings and what not, but the writing tends to reflect how the characters speak, therefore people rarely swear, no matter how dark the subject matter gets sometimes. Although Farscape does manage to get creative with the whole thing with delightful phrases like : 'Frell this' and 'You frelling son of a hasmot'. Or unless you're slashing a so-called 'non-genre' show, like NYPD Blue or HBO's Oz. RPS fandoms though. Come on, everyone swears don't they? And my point in all of this was, um...oh yeah. Must stop swearing. The use of the word dude though, I have no clue where that came from. Of course, if I actually wrote the way I spoke, I'd be incomprehensible to pretty much everyone I know online, except for Genie. Much like Black American slang(or dialect according to Ally), it's kinda hard to get unless you get it. It does slip in more often than I'd like to admit, though. I can't help it. I forget the proper way to write. Fortunately, us being...us, we have thoughtfully provided an actual dictionary on our mangling of the English language. We very the helpful one, you know.

2002-03-02T03:10:00.000-08:00

More pictures! And here.Plus we get to see Chester and what the hell is up with the hair? So not going to comment on the way Mike is looking at him. Also at pushmeaway : Linkin Park won the Best Breakthrough Artist at the first ever MTV Asia Awards 2002 on 02-02-02. LP beat the likes of Nelly Furtado, Coldplay, Alicia Keys and Gorillaz.
I confess, I didn't vote for them. I voted for Eminem in another category instead. I know, for shame.

Oh hell, I missed Third Watch again. Grrr. I slashed Bosco with Ty once upon a time. Because. It's the uniforms, dude.

2002-03-02T02:04:00.000-08:00

From the helpful reviewers at cnet.com :

First off, let me state that the recent problems users have been having with Morpheus 1.3.3 are not the fault of Musiccity, but rather Kazaa and the Fasttrack network who instituted an upgrade to the network and software that in effect killed the Morpheus p2p community. It is also worth noting that no upgrade was offered or given to Musiccity, and shortly thereafter Kazaa's website had an invitation to all Morpheus users to join thier service. A blatent attempt to steal users from Musiccity. That said, Musiccity had to rush out a product to keep the community together and had to find a network to link it to. That network ended up being Gnutilla, and the software ended up being 1.3.3.1. Make no mistake. Morpheus version 1.3.3.1 is a rushed product, but that doesn't mean that it's all bad, it just means that it take a whole lot of getting used to and a whole lot more time getting it to work right. Version 1.3.3.1 gives you unlimited search results. You are no longer limited to 200 returns on a search. Youcan also refine your search on the fly. Say you search for Twisted Sister. You may find 400 different files but you can then refine your search by entering "we're not gonna take it" and you will see only files that match up. However you cannot just search for audio, video, or whatever. A search for Twisted Sister will bring up videos, mp3s, wma files, jpgs, bmps, and any other files that may be present on the network. You can filter file types out that you don't want, though. Also, you will get returns on your search that aren't really there. For example, there may be 400 returns on Twisted Sister, but when you click them to download them, they will give an "Unable to connect" error. I did a search for Sarah Brightman (don't ask) and got over 200 returns, but of the 200 retuns I flagged for download, only 20 of them actually connected and downloaded. I searched for the same files again and found them again, but when I tried to download them again, the same thing happened. Getting the program to work was a pain in the you-know-where too. First you must uninstall the old version of morpheus and then install the new version. Then you have to re-boot the computer and them launch the software. Then you have to click "file" and "Load config" and select "gnuservers.ini" Then you have to click "file" and "Load Nodes" and then "gnucache.net" Only then will you be able to connect. Once connected, you can search for files, nodes, servers, etc. You can play the files that you have downloaded, but there is no longer a built in viewer or player. The program defaults to the devices you already use like Winamp or Quicktime. The package has promise once it gets polished up a little but right now it looks and feels just like what it is, a rushed product.

2002-03-02T01:03:00.000-08:00

That's it. I'm uninstalling Kazaa and switching to Morpheus. Useless program. Useless.

2002-03-01T20:14:00.000-08:00

My Chronic 2001 CD broke. I mean it broke. Into two. I don't know how it happened. I just opened my CD holder and it was like that. This is the first time a CD ever broke on me and of course it had to be that imported from the US *banned* over here Em confessing his love to Dre CD. I'd buy it again except that I don't think Tower is selling it anymore, or at least it wasn't the last time I checked. Maybe I'll just dl and rip the whole album. Damn.

2002-03-01T10:16:00.000-08:00

I took a Linkin Park quiz or something. I suck. Bwah. Okay..I'm a bad fangirl. Always have been, always will be. What, I'm supposed to do research before writing smut about them? Oh fine..be that way. Sheesh. I'm gonna go on to more important things..like what's the best Chester do, ever. I'd say the white-blonde spikes. Love those. For some reason, he makes almost everything work, including..yes I'll admit it, the stupid mohawk. No, that's not true. The blonde fru with the little bits on top were a huge, huge mistake. Other than that though, he even looks good bald. What did David Duchovny say though? Something about the problem with bald is that you got nothing to hold on to when he starts to buck. Bwah.

2002-03-01T06:09:00.000-08:00

Why didn't anyone slash Survivor 3? The wonderful weird Lex, the spoilt gay bartender Brandon..and the surly old army guy whose name I never learnt but was so another Eminem. And Ethan, god. What's wrong with EHIM?

2002-03-01T06:05:00.000-08:00

Apparently they really do plan to release every LP song ever made as a single. I was listening to the radio today, which I don't usually do, but they had some countdown show and I wanted to see where 'In the end' was, plus Rick Dees always talks about the bands on the way up, like LP was on tour 225 days last year. And I wonder, do the wives and girlfriends go with them? They do, right? I've read that, somewhere. Sometimes. 'Cos if it were me, i wouldn't want to be on tour for such a long time unless I was getting some. They're twenty something guys, they have needs...and before I go totally off tangent here about how that's proof that they're rocking the buses all night long, um...where was I? Yeah. Listening to radio. And the latest LP song to be released here is 'My December'. And I'm like, what? Andrea said that 'With you' is the next single in Germany, and yes I know they sometimes release different singles in different countries, but 'My December' isn't even on HP. How can they release it as a single? B-sides get released as singles sometimes sure, but damn. And...more importantly, does that mean we get a video of it? Oh...'With you' & 'My December' vids. That's six singles. Six.

2002-02-28T08:41:00.000-08:00

So fine-fucking ally. Envy has made it possible to retrieve your old files. God! Um, how the hell does one do ftp. Shit..gotta go figure that one out.