So fine-fucking ally. Envy has made it possible to retrieve your old files. God! Um, how the hell does one do ftp. Shit..gotta go figure that one out.

Andrea had the nerve to say Brad isn't hot. And I love you Andrea...but Brad is...gawd! Awright, so that's not the best picture..but it's him at the grammies! And the rest of the band. And Mike's wearing a *suit*. Plus what do you want me to say about how Phoenix looks?

Re-watching the puppies perform. Forced to agree...singing, not what they're best at. Thank god they're cute. Oh yeah boys, grab your crotches for me.

What the hell was Alicia Keys wearing? Such a pretty face, but that outfit. Hate her now, by the way, because she won and my boys lost..sob.

The soggy bottom boys? What the...Jon! Dude..watching the grammies now...late..and the *highlights* only..all feel sorry for me..I demand it. And cookies. Demand that too. And lots of them because LP weren't even there.

Bennington: I'm actually a lab experiment. I was raised in a petri dish at the UCLA biomedical center.
Shinoda: And we just grew to like him, so we kept him around.
Bennington: And I just grew.

Finally...Andrea found the quote for me! When I was first listening to LP, somehow I got it in my head that Mike was Chester and Chester was Mike. And even after I knew my mind still immediately went..Mike, whenever I saw a picture of Chester. It was very strange for a while there.

I take back every disparaging remark I've ever made about Linkin Park and their lyrics. I do. They rock. Their lyrics rock. Kids relate to them. They..::sob:: they do charity benefits. For the kids!...I wuv them, I do...my babies! stretches out grubby fingers...

Grammies! I haven't been this excited to see a stupid award show in...in a long, long time. Linkin Park! My boys! I hope they win something! Because, ya know...they're my best friends and therefore if they win it's like I win...I don't care. I've embraced my teenaged obsessive roots once again. They're my band.

Must remember to call Suja. Must remember to call Suja. I keep forgetting, which is bad. And then before I know it, a month has passed by and she calls me. It's just that time passes by so fast, and what with work and studying and um, other stuff I get distracted. Not that I have much to do at work, beyond staring at the PC screen aimlessly all day, but she works, and she's busy, and anyway, it's not like I can talk to her long, plus picking up the phone requires me to stand up and move from my desk. Sigh.

My so called aunt came over to my house today. Family friend, I stayed at their house when I was growing up because my mother couldn't afford to look after me and work at the same time. And I'm sitting there and I'm being nice, and she's all caring and I'm thinking...I hate you so much. Because I was a kid, I was eight years old and I never once felt anything but like an unwanted guest in your house, and my mother used to take me home during the weekends and I would beg her not to make me go back, but she didn't have a choice and I was always so fucking alone back then. And then I think, it's in the past. I should get over it already. I should be over it already. But I can't. But that's on me, right? At a certain age, I used to think at a certain age I'd wake up and I'd stop. Stop hurting. Stop hating. Stop not being able to let go of the past, like you keep on dragging it out, see here : this and this is why I'm so fucked up, so you see, it isn't my fault. It's hers, and hers, and oh yeah...his too. But it never happens. You just swallow it down and it grows and you wake up one day and you're this big emotional wreck and there's no one else to blame except for yourself. Aw, fuck it, I'm just going to take my big mess of a brain and go to sleep.

The March issue of Rolling Stone Magazine hasn't hit the stands here yet. *childish sobbing* Good god, you'd think i was six the way i was acting. I just really want that magazine is all. For research purposes, of course. Ah well, it'll probably be here by next week. Borders at least will have it. Now it's Creed on the cover. Bleah Creed. Bleah Rolling Stone Magazine for that matter. Way, way too expensive.

Okay, I must never ever leave the house again. I went out, watched Black Hawk Down, felt depressed..went to HMV. Bought...the 'Papercut' single, which has the papercut video on it, but *scowl*..it requires Quicktime, and Quicktime drives my PC bonkers. So arrgh!. Plus I bought the vcd for 'V' The original miniseries. And I know, watching it now, it'll probably be cheesy as hell, but when it was first released I think I was..ten maybe and wow..it terrified the hell out of me. Every week me and my family would sit down to watch it. I had recurring nightmares about aliens and spaceships. Actually, my dreams were more a weird combination of the cartoon series 'Mask' and 'V'. I was a superhero, yay! Or something like that. The same dream, so many times. Scary.

Okay..my final attempt to go see Black Hawk Down. Totally for the pretty boys of course.

From Spin magazine's February 2002 article : 'Not bad for a white girl'

The hazel eyed, curly haired woman is nervous as she and her manager enter the Manhatten restaurant where they have a dinner date with Eminem. A few months earlier, the 22 year old rapper, who goes by the name Ivory, signed with Warner Bros.; now she spends most of her time meeting producers and other artists, talking about potential collaborations. And since her attorney is Eminem's attorney - well, who knows?.....

.....Now you'd think that a woman who is a)Bartender of the Year; and b)a former swimsuit model would have no trouble keeping Slim Shady's attention. But after introductions - 'Oh, I heard a lot about you,' Em says graciously - the conversation dies off. D12, Eminem's boisterous crew, are around, so that's one distraction, and there's a basketball game on a TV in the corner. Plus, both Ivory and Eminem, despite their chosen profession, are essentially quiet people. So they're sitting there, not saying much, and Em's manager is kicking him under the table, as if to say, 'Go ahead, talk to her.' Ivory's manager is glaring at her, as if to say, 'You better talk to him.' Finally, they chat, and at the end of the meal, the manager shows Eminem a card from Ivory's modeling days. On the front, there's a photo of her face, and on the back, there's a photo of her in a bathing suit, with a very tiny, very sheer bottom.

'Oh,'Eminem says, gazing at the portrait,'Can I keep this?'...

~~~~~~
And then there's nothing more about my boo. Because I'm so free I'm transcribing articles. Or insanely obsessed, um focused. But bwah! You gotta kick him under the table to get him to talk to a girl?

'Eminem in his own words'has one line quotes by Lance, Joey and Justin reacting to his diss on *Nsync. Now...Lance, Justin..been there, done that. But Joey? He's the only puppy as far as I know that hasn't had Em at least once. And that's just wrong. Well, I think so anyway.

de·bauch·er·y Pronunciation Key (d-bôch-r)
n. pl. de·bauch·er·ies
Extreme indulgence in sensual pleasures; dissipation.
debaucheries : Orgies.
Archaic. Seduction from morality, allegiance, or duty

debauchery
\De*bauch"er*y\, n.; pl. Debaucheries.
1. Corruption of fidelity; seduction from virtue, duty, or allegiance.
The republic of Paris will endeavor to complete the debauchery of the army. --Burke.
2. Excessive indulgence of the appetites; especially, excessive indulgence of lust; intemperance; sensuality; habitual lewdness.
Oppose . . . debauchery by temperance. --Sprat.

Just had to make sure. Because I went to Borders and read a magazine, which I didn't buy because it had only one page on Linkin Park, and Brad was writing an article on his guitar playing and key and notes and my eyes kinda glazed over since I know nothing about the guitar. But, at the end of the article, he wrote something to the effect of : 'I'm taking time off the debaucheries(or debauchery) of being on the road to write this.' Not exactly that, because I fixated on the word debauchery. And *I'm* sure it's a typo or means something else but..Brad! The BBB will endeavour to complete the debauchery of Chester after writing this article. Do you guys know what I'm putting on hold for you?

Da dum da dum da da dum da dum da...I booked tickets to see the Cirque Du Soleil and Disney on Ice! Yippee! Okay, not so yipee, since I can ill afford to see either one of them. Ah, the joys of living on credit. That's online booking for ya. You don't think..and then you click yes..and ack! You're surviving on instant noodles for the next six months.

Andrea's coming back online today, which is *phew*. 'Cos I miss her. Other than that, I'm busy eyeing my old PC. Gotta make new webpage. I tried to learn html, but apparently my concentration skills are natch beyond drooling over purty boys, so I'll just stick to the frontpage for now.

What to do? Three days! I have to dl Geri Halliwell to burn cd's for my cousin. Urrgh. Kazaa. Hate it. Hate it. Hate it. Audiogalaxy refuses to let me connect, Winmx only works half the time...dammit, can't a girl steal music here?

I'm so not commenting here on that whole Lance as space monkey thing.

Andrea wants to lick Mike. I want to lick Chester. If I were Mike I'd want to lick Chester. If I were Chester I'd want to lick Mike. Ergo, they're busy licking each other as I type this. It's the only logical conclusion.

Lost the red, finally. It's less killer on the eyes now. Oooh...WWF! The Undertaker..mm yeah...I always thought he was hot, even when he was wearing that stupid hat and black tights. Now though..woo!

Pssst...I *heart* Kino. I do. It's 'cos she's so fucking cool.

It's SexyHybridAlien!Chester and BrilliantbutDamagedScientist!Brad..in my very own pervy, slashy remake of b-movie 'Species.' Hey, Mike's the one that said Chester was grown in a petri dish, not me. I blame the 'shrooms! *chomp*. I'd say it was a step up from pedophilia but considering that Chester is, technically speaking, all of two years old - I believe they might have to make a whole different level of hell for the place i'm goin to.

Chester said he couldn't control when his skin changed. Brad accepted that without comment; it was the first lie Chester had ever told him that he'd *almost* believed.

He still felt human enough under Brad's mouth. Tasted human enough too, arching his back and making those strange cooing noises that he made when he came. Skin rippling; ridges surfaced and faded away.

Brad thought morbidly sometimes that maybe one day he'd get sick and die, like that poor girl in Nebraska. Swallowing hybrid alien spunk had to be worse than a tiny accidental touch, even if she had happened on the DNA in it's original pure form. There didn't seem to be any adverse effects though. Or at least not physical ones.

The dreams were another matter altogether.

Today, my company sent an email saying that instead of the day off we were supposed to have on Friday, we're going to have it on Monday instead. And here I was all set to work 4 days this week. Urrgh. My whole schedule is thrown off. Well, okay..it's not that big a deal, but it pisses me off nonetheless. *scowl*.

Chester was *so* born to be a hybrid alien. And Brad was born to want him. Yeah.

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Very High
Schizoid:	Moderate
Schizotypal:	Very High
Antisocial:	High
Borderline:	Very High
Histrionic:	High
Narcissistic:	Moderate
Avoidant:	Very High
Dependent:	High
Obsessive-Compulsive:	High
-- Click Here To Take The Test --

So hah. That's funny, really. I laughed, without much surprise. Maybe i should take the test again. Aiyee. I'm a happy person, really I am.

Goin' through my files. Sortin' through my files. Realizing that I made as big a mess in my new PC as i did in my old, and in a few short months too. Sigh. I *started* with the best of intentions. Really I did.

Back to work today. *sob*. But i managed to do absolutely nothing the whole day, so that's cool. Very proud of myself. Tomorrow, I promise to do some work. I will, dammit. That's why I hate holidays, I never feel like working afterwards.

I was going through the RS-X archives, and I found it highly amusing that in March 2000 there was someone 'seriously looking for *Nsnyc slash - Justin/Joey' and apparently no one on the list was able to find anything other than the slash that was archived at nifty. Oh, plus really old pictures of JC and the Joey unofficial fan page. I can't believe that the boyband slash fandom is *that* young. Or did it grow separate from the mainstream slash fandom, even the mainstream slash fandom that did RPS? You can hardly type in slash nowadays in a search engine without stumbling across someone doing boybands, it must have been around before then. But then again, *Nsync are a pretty young band, aren't they?

*sob* A moment of silence please.

So envy.nu done stole my site and ran off with it. Or went under new management and killed every site there. I hate envy.nu. I hate that I modified, updated and created files online without making a backup on my pc. Yes folks, I'm that stupid. I am. Stock taking, I don't even remember what I had online. Someone beat me over the head with a hammer for being an idiot, please? Not that it's really important, but it's my shit, dammit.

Jail bait in silver. And white faux-fur. And with weird hair. *pet*. And let us not forget my boys. Girlish squeeing. Chester looks sooo hoot! Yes he does. Someone could take the worst possible picture of him and I'd still think he looked hot. I'm biased. Can't help it.

	Your personality type is LIL' DEVIL. You love taking risks and will do anything on a dare. This capacity has seen you do any number of foolish things, but somehow you always come through unscathed, although innocent bystanders may not be so lucky. You're mischievous and wicked without being nasty. Your motto: naughty... but nice.
Click HERE to get your own personality doll

And it's really ugly but i'm too lazy to change the damned thing now. Guess it'll have to be red for the time being. Boredom is a baaad thing.

Reeed...everything is red now...bwah. 'Cos I'm evil. And goin' ta hell. Getting used to the shade.

I am not working tomorrow. Will not get sick. I am not working tomorrow. Will not get sick. I am no - *achoo!!* Waiil!!

In other news, I went handphone shopping today instead of the movie watching. Those tiny toys with the nifty little functions and they're *all* very expensive 'hos that call out playfully to you and tempt you to buy. Color screens, MP3 players, FM players...oh my. I heart Nokia. If only my bank account weren't empty.

I couldn't get tickets to see Black Hawk Down, sigh. What I did get however was a cold and a bad cough. Plus a killer of a headache. Go me. Plus came home to my pc telling me it's running low on memory or some shit like that. Stupid fucking pc. I blame Bill Gates. I think he *wants* me to write him as Steve Job's bitch, doesn't he? Yeah, I'm pretty sure he does. It's a brand new pc. It shouldn't be running low on anything at any time.

I'm going to watch Black Hawk Down now. Hopefully can get tickets. Meanwhile, leaving the PC on to waste electricity in order to dl episodes of Smallville, which I must add that I'm *not* dl just because I heard there's some kick-ass slash out there. Nope, it's 'cos the show is good. Apparently. Right. I'm remotely queued in Kazaa. Why am I always remotely queued? Ack..late. As usual. Ack!

I just realized that every second paragraph I write the words all line up together, but not for the first. Oh..what did i do to my html template, i don't want to know. See....

Now i'm changing paragraphs, and the words will line up nicely for me, and I obviously need to go to bed because it's 4am and i'm sleep deprived and insane. Dream of Mike and Chester, yeah.

Oh, and preparing to go 'ta hell soon. Hopefully.

The love of my life has written me a wonderful, lovely story. Happy sigh.

Sometimes by Andrea
Mike/Chester
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After a concert he needs it hard and fast.

Sometimes he’s already hard, sometimes his whole body is tense from the adrenaline rush and sometimes he just goes and fucks Samantha in their hotel room. I’m not jealous of her, I know how he feels about her and I’m pretty sure how he feels about me. What really gets me is the fact they *they* can make him hard, that he‘s turned on by *them*, just because they know all the lyrics by heart and scream them back at him whenever he wants.

When’s he’s already hard, it sucks. Not for him. Never for him. All he needs is the release - Sometimes I think that Brad could do the job as well, or any other of the guys, and he wouldn’t even care, but I don‘t like that thought, so I don’t go there very often. No, it’s me who hates it then. Because I’m angry and I’m raw with him and jerk his cock almost violently.

I lick his neck when I do it, because I like the taste of sweat on him and when I feel the urge to show him my anger, I bite the soft little spot at the side of his neck where I can feel his blood pulsing. He never notices it, or at least he never flinches. He just gasps and moans, whispers “God, yes...” or “Kiss me.” and I obey. His tongue feels even better under mine than his neck.

There are times when he’s tired after a gig or angry because the crowd wouldn’t go with it. When he thinks we fucked up a performance or when he’s so tense that he can hardly stand straight anymore, he needs someone to hold him. And I like the thought that he needs *me* for it.

He lies down on his hotel room bed and I undress him. He always laughs and tells me he can do that alone and I laugh back and say “I know.” and unbutton his pants. Then I take off *my* clothes and take him into my arms and we just lie there for a while. Sometimes that’s enough for him and he drowses off after some minutes. He gets very self-conscious when that happens and says things like “God, I’m such a pussy.” or jokes with a honey-dripping voice, “Tell me you love me, darling.” and I will grin against his neck and chirp back, “Oh, but you know that I do” and we will laugh. But I can never be sure if he really believes me.

Sometimes though, he’s not too tired to be turned on by my cock against his ass. Those are the best nights. When I have all the time I need to kiss his neck and lick my way down to his cock and feel him getting hard under my hands. Very rarely he will whisper things like “God, Mike, don’t stop...“and I’ll never be able to describe how him saying my name like that really makes me feel. And even if I could, I would never tell him.

He lets me fuck him in those nights. And we’re always facing each other when we fuck. It’s not like we do it very often, so the times we do, I need to see that he likes it. And he does, I can always tell. The preparation unnerves him, so I make it as *enjoyable* as I can for him. When I hit the sweet spot, he cries out my name, and pulls me down to kiss me. That is almost better than the fucking itself. Almost. I push into him, slowly and carefully at first, and he closes his eyes. I always leave them open. He writhes and moans beneath me, and counters my thrusts in perfect rhythm. Yeah, we’re a *team*. When I’m close, but he isn’t yet, I take his cock into a firm grip and stroke him hard. And sometimes I bend down and hoarsely whisper things into his ear I could never tell him when we’re both fully dressed. Like, “God, I love your ass.” or “Let me see you come.” or “Say my name.” And sometimes, he obeys.

Those nights, when we listen to our breaths getting softer and lower afterwards, I sometimes think I could tell him. About me. About my feelings. Then I think about the sound of the word feelings in my head and grin. God... I’m such a pussy.
~ end ~

My mom hasn't changed one bit in all these years. She's still - who she is I guess, and I wonder sometimes is that the way it is? Do none of us change? I used to think that when I was all grown up I'd be different. A better person, more self-confident, etc. etc. Grown up now, I think i'm not the same person that I was when I was say, fifteen, but I just might be wrong.

This is from a Poison song :

I hate every bone in your body but mine
I can't wait till I can hate you tonight

Bwah!

Came back from watching Kate and Leopold(sp?), get to the stupid movie later..going through my old half-finished, abandoned stories now, throwing out my MS Word documents. Because I have no clue what to do with Jester, sorry Andrea. Anyway, JC/Eminem? Dead. Gone. Bye-bye. Which is a waste, really. Because they're real pretty together. Or pretty fucked up together. Ah well. Fuck. Right, to the movie. Let's see. Meg Ryan = not aging well, playing same character she always does. Hugh Jackman = oh mama. Hot. Hot. Hot. Liked him better as Wolverine though. Or that guy who got the blowjob in Swordfish (best fucking scene, the best). End review. Informative and insightful as usual.

On the up side, got a Valentine's Day gift from Kathi, which is nice, because he's usually not into the whole Valentine's Day thing...I got sick and tired of hearing about the blatant commercialism ripping people off blah blah expensive flowers stuff - yea, it's *true*, but just once, I'd like the flowers. Sometimes I wonder about us. We're so different - I imagine us sometimes married and in separate rooms, each doing our own thing and rarely meeting. Hah, isn't that supposed to happen only after you've been married for years? I don't know. March 14 is our anniversary. Eight years. Jesus. We still barely know each other.

'Esaul' so kicks A place for my head's ass. It does. IMO anyway. Maybe it's just because there's something about hearing Mike go 'Oh god someday you'll regret this' and sound like he *means* it. Mike & Chaz, Chaz & Mike...hot dirty sex, yeah. Maybe Brad watches...hey, gotta put him in there somewhere.

Oh, and I had no idea that Everlast sang that song with Santana, 'Keep your lights on' aka. the song Maria and Michael from Roswell made out to for the first time at the crashdown. That song rocks! He also sang 'So long' from the 'End of Days' soundtrack, which rocks too. Everlast rocks. Me like.

Listening to Eminem. Again! Been listening to Linkin Park for so long now I've forgotton how much I enjoyed his music. Thanks, Susie! Oh potty mouthed blonde one...how you doin? Sigh. I was really really bummed when the Reading Festival got cancelled. 'Cos you know, Linkin Park and Eminem, at the same concert! Not that *anything* remotely slash related would happen between those boys. Nope. This is the second time that I've denied that I would slash Linkin Park with Eminem if I got the chance. Oh shaddup.

I said yesterday, something along the lines of 'I'll bet Mike speaks when he fucks', I can't remember exactly what. I'll bet he does. Bet he keeps his eyes open, too. And Chester closes his, because he can't bear to look, but he can't block out Mike's voice that whispers beautiful, terrible things to him. Not that he actually understands what Mike is saying, he's too busy concentrating on not crying to make sense of the words. Bwah. Oh come on, don't tell me that *isn't* how a Mike/Chester relationship would be. Hmm? Mike is mean. He's so damned sexy, so he's mean. Chester would be better off with...huh...Marshall! He would. I wonder if Chester listens to Eminem. 'Hi, my name is (what?), my name is (who?), my name is (chica chica), Krycek's bitch'. Ah, so much for Em/Chester again, eh?

So bored...anyone...anyone?..Grrrgh!..oh hey! Gong Xi Fa Chai! Urm...hope I spelt that right. Sigh..

So music awards are where all the stars meet and have sex right? Aren't they?

I was watering my plants yesterday, and talking to my mom. I brought them home for the week because I didn't want them to suffocate without any air. And she went 'I'm so surprised your plants look so healthy.' So I said back, 'What, did you think I brought them to the office and killed them all?! That was six months ago!' I mean, just because I killed every pet I ever had, doesn't mean that I would kill my *plants*. Sheesh.

OOOhhh...watching the American Music Awards now. *Nsync is presenting. JC is sooo cute..shy, awkward boy. He is! Justin is an idiot. Poor Alicia Keys. Coming up soon, ahem...Linkin Park. They won an award, they did. Best rock band or something. So did Lifehouse. Jason, right there. Yes! Oohhh...the Backstreet Boys! Nick...oh Nick...JC..mmm...Damn, why did I ever stop watching music awards shows? How could I think they were boring as hell?

After repeated viewings of music videos, etc, I sill can't make out whether Mike is taller than Chester or not (Mike looks so short! Do they have vital stats hidden somewhere on the net that I can't find?). Have come to the conclusion therefore that they are *all* hobbit sized midgets.

Andrea said that Rob looks cute in the 'Papercut' video (yea, I'm watching music vids now) and I agree. He looks absolutely adorable. Edible, fuckable, whateverdable. Totally with the Rob loving now. But not to neglect Brad (how could I?) he too looks way cute, especially when he sings along to the song. No one is going to convince me that the mohawk was a good idea though.

On repeated viewing, the Girlfriend video is really great. If only for all of them looking damned fine in it. What's with all the girls though? Yes, I realize that the song itself is called 'Girlfriend', but the BSB managed to do 'Drowning' without a single girl marring the screen. Although having the girls there does highlight the fact that they're *prettier* than most girls you'd ever want to meet, so that's a good thing. I would like a 'Girlfriend', the YMCA version though. Just for the heck of it.

Masturbation fic. Somebody write me a masturbation fic. I am sooo serious. Any guy, any situation. He could get caught, he could be thinking of someone else, hell he could be jerking off to his cat for all I care. Anyone? ::blink::

Take the What Color Dragon Should You Ride? Quiz

Made By: myway and teza

Hey..two days ago was Dave's birthday! Ahem..that's David Michael Farrell for those of you who don't...um. He's still too young for me. *scowl*

You are completely bananas...probably about socks and Jesus!

Find out what YOUR inner non-sequitur is!

quiz by A.V. Phibes

See what happens when I'm really really bored?

You're one lucky bitch.

Tall, dark, and RUGGEDLY handsome!
Aw, you go for the tall, dark and handsome type. How trite. True, Aragorn's as much a man as any of the Fellowship, but the whole "I'm not good enough to be king" thing really gets in the way of bedroom fun. Whining can be a real turn-off, you know.

Apparently I need a *real* man. Funny, I thought I'd go for the Legolas kinda guy.

I would like to borrow those lovely pictures from all those websites on Linkin Park, but what would I say? : Dear sir, please let me have that really cool pic of Linkin Park that you have, because I feel the need to point out all the regular fashion faux-pas that these boys commit, not in the hopes that they would come across these pics mind you, but for my own personal satisfaction, because I just need to point out that sweatsuit hoods are not meant for *wearing*, not unless you're outdoors and cold and stuff. Thank you.

Oh well. At least they have better fashion sense than *Nsync, although they beat them in terms of bad choices of facial hair hands down. Brad, Mike and Rob, for the love of all things cute and cuddly, please, shave. And on the subject of cute and cuddly, the Carter boys. Being cute. And cuddly. And wearing matching clothes, much like Brad, Mike and Rob have matching beards. This and this, just because.

No one at home today, so I watched the first 3 episodes of QAF. Vince, Nathan and Stuart. Stuart, Stuart you bastard you. If only he wasn't so fucking hot. Grrr.

I went to HMV today. Resisted the urge to buy *anything*. Very proud of self. Sat outside and drank coffee afterwards gossiping and people watching. Japanese boys are sooo cute. All got that creamy skinned weird-hair thing going on. Only, how come Japanese businessmen are so - well, I wouldn't say *ugly*, but not entirely attractive either. Do they outgrow the adorability, or is it just the latest generation that are cute. Maybe it's the hair that makes all the difference. I have a thing for hair for some reason. Korean boys are gorgeous too. When I was in Korea I wandered around going..purty, me want. My friends though, apparently aren't the big pervs that I am, and never noticed the boys. Maybe it's just me. Pedophile! Heh.

I don't believe envy.nu ever plans to come back online again. Half an hour, is all I ask. Duh. I'm an idiot. I upload, then I'm too lazy to change the page and upload again so i do it from there. I have no saved files, not the latest anyway. On the other hand, I was getting tired of the look. But my files!

Ahem..slash, Jerry Springer style. Joe would be the director, of course. Cool. I liked the way it turned out. Who knew random insertion of names and furniture could be so interesting? Don't have the original link to the program though. Boo..:(
Update : Okay, in case I didn't make this clear, *I* didn't write this, okay? Program was passed to me by Genie, it's a random fic generator. I was just amused by the slash is all. Just so y'all know.

Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
JERRY: Tonight on the Jerry Springer show we have a particularly interesting episode! Brad is here to finally confess something to a long-time friend of his Chester. So everyone please put your hands together for Brad!
Jerry: Okay, now Brad you're here to talk about someone aren't you?
You: Yes.
Jerry: And what is this other persons name?
You: Mike.
The crowd SQUEALS with delight.
Jerry: Okay, okay, well Mike, is actually here tonight -
The crowd SQUEALS.
Jerry: But first we have a surprise for you Brad, because as it happens there is someone else here to see YOU! So let's bring out... Dave!
You: What the HELL!!!
Out of nowhere you pull out a hammer. Dave reaches for the dining table. Out of the shadows Rob appears.
Rob: Wait everybody wait!
Jerry: Yes, everybody let's just calm down for a moment here. First tell us why you're here Dave.
Dave: Because I saw Brad and Rob making out at Garden!
The crowd goes absolutely INSANE.
Rob: That's a lie! I was home watching The X-files!
Jerry: (raising his hands) Hold on, hold on, I'm missing the problem here...what exactly IS the problem Dave?
Dave: Because I've recently been taking part in a sexual relationship with Chester who has recently become engaged to Rob.
The crowd hollers, screams and whoops in an orchestra of orgasmic excitement.
Jerry: Okay, okay. Well why don't we bring Chester out here because Brad had something that they needed to tell them anyway about... Mike that's right!
Chester: (enters onto stage and saunters over towards you) What's the deal? I saw you outside getting it on with Mike! You know I'm how I feel about Mike!.
Rob: (screams) What? Why the hell did you ask me to marry you if you're in love with Mike!
Chester: Because I knew that I could never have Mike. But Brad promised me that they'd never hook up out of respect for my feelings!
Rob: What about respect for MY feelings!
Dave walks suddenly across the stage, embracing Chester.
Dave: Don't worry baby, you don't need any of them now that you have me.
Again the crowd SQUEALS.
Rob: Oh my God! Are you SICK!
Rob runs across the room and wraps their arms around you tightly.
Rob: Brad take me away from all of this!
You: You see? That's the thing...I'm...well, I'm married...
The crowd does its bit.
Rob: Married?
You nod.
Rob: Who the hell are you married to? When...when did this happen? I don't understand!
You: The other day. In Vegas. I'm married to Mike.
Chester: (screaming) WHAT!!!
Jerry: (grinning widely, makes an enquiry) So...did you have a nice wedding night?
Mike: (stepping back out onto center stage) Well we had sex 7 times if that's what you mean.
The crowd squeals.
Jerry: Okay, okay. So let me get this all straight... Brad is married to Mike who Chester has secretly been in love with for years and years. Now Chester has recently become engaged to Rob who was recently spotted kissing Brad in the Garden. Now on top of this Dave has just admitted to being in a sexual relationship with Chester.
Mike: That's right Jerry.
Jerry: (looking sternly into the camera) It is times like these that one has to wonder, whether or not these people are aware that they are quite clinically insane. Perhaps we should be spending more on psychiatric health funds in this country, perhaps we should just ban Vegas to cut down on impulse marriages. Perhaps I should get a new job. Thanks for watching folks it's been great but for now...it's goodnight.
Queue cheesy background music and fade to black.

I finally watched 'Frat Party at I still can't remember the title'..well, some of it anyway, got interrupted and didn't finish. But : Joe...camera man! Happy happy joy joy. Love that Brad goes 'like' like a hundred times a day. Oh, no..not really that so much but that *Joe* saw fit to put the counter there and let us know that he says 'like' like a hundred times a day. I honestly wouldn't have noticed otherwise. And Mike is so fucking cuute..I never imagined. Very funny, but very self possessed, very aware. I...am an obsessed geek, yes I am.

Joe to anonymous fangirl : Do you have any Korean in you?
Anonymous fangirl : No. Yeah, sometimes.
Joe : .....
Me : Go anonymous fangirl. Hee.

Changing the subject altogether, my exams are over!! Woo hoo!! Paper sucked, but wtf, at least it's over, eh? Great thing about Marketing Management is that you can forget everything that you learnt and still write six pages of absolute bull. The only question is, will anyone buy it? Wait and see.

Way to take up space in my blogger...but *smoooch* thanks to Andrea..the Pet Shop Boys doing...well would this be considered slash? Or mocking the slashers? Either case, hee. Always knew I loved the PSB for a reason.

The Night I Fell In Love by The Pet Shop Boys

I was backstage
Couldn’t believe my luck was in
I saw him approach
Wearing a most approachable grin
When he said 'hello'
I was surprised
He spoke so politely
I said 'I liked the show'
Well he just smiled
I guess it happens nightly
And so I fell in love

We went to his room
He had a video camera
I was so nervous
I had to try hard not to stammer
He said 'I’m glad you liked the show
That crowd was dope out there tonight'
'Alright'
'You wanna see some more?
Well, be my guest
You can have a private performance'
I’d fallen in love

I didn’t ask why
Though he seemed like such a regular guy
He said we could be secret lovers
Just him and me
then he joked 'Hey man
your name isn't Stan, is it?
We should be together'
And he was passionate
I guess I would rate
him a nine out of ten
by then
I'd fallen in love

When I asked
'why have I heard I so much
about him being charged
with homophobia and stuff'
he just shrugged

Next morning we woke (secret lovers)
He couldn't have been a nicer bloke
Over breakfast made jokes
about Dre and his homies and folks
Neither of us asked if or when
we would see each other again
But I thought that was cool
'cause I was all-
ready late for school
By then
I'd fallen in love

Secret lovers

I am bad. So bad. I absolutely hate people and animals. In fact, I probably sacrifice them. No one likes me, but of course it isn't my fault. I should just go back to New York because I am a corrupt Jesus.


Take the What Jesus Would You Be? Quiz

The lyrics to Whitey's Revenge, Search 4 Bobby Fisher. Okay, adding this : ICP's Nothing but a bitch thang. Poor Em. Everlast is kinda cute, btw. My favorite lines (From Whitey's Revenge), because NBABT is too obvious :

And I heard you might be the MC that's gay
With your platinum blonde Caesar, you look like a 'ho
Like M and M stands for Marilyn Monroe

Bwah! Okay, I have no life and am easily amused. Gimme a break already.

One of Mike's favorite songs for 2000 is Eminem's Kill You. Interesting. Nine others, but this is the only one I've listened to. Bling-bling, baby.

Update : Deleted Eminem's disturbing lyrics, cos they up too much space.

Andrea, Andrea, Andrea.

*twirls around*

Sigh.

So for those of you *not* on the LOTR_RPS list, or at least not lurking on it, like me...there's well..pictures for you. ::blink::blink::

Mmm...puppy love. Will. Not Squueee. Ahem. LOTR actor slash though...oooh...pretty pretty boys. Mmmmdrool. Mmmmwant. So um..Marketing Management. Right. Yes. Back to the books. Good books.

So I have been told..ahem...that I'm a bad influence. By more than one person in fact recently. And I honestly have no idea why. Except to say, well...if I'm a bad influence, y'all probably shouldn't listen to me and like read this. Or this, which I've been *telling* people to read but no one listens to me, except to blame me for Chester fantasies and fic snippets and downloading and all. So now, please do not read these. Good? Good. And while I'm at it, this, which so far is only on ff.net, so it's best if you don't read it soon, because ff.net links disappear for no reason. *whistling softly*..

So both Linkin Park and Lifehouse won awards at the 2001 Billboard Music Awards. The question is, were they there? I have no idea, since I didn't watch the show. Andrea, the things I do.

I hate my job. I do. It's beyond 'not liking it' or 'bored by it'. It's this whole mind numbing, deep rooted I-just-don't-give-a-fuck-anymore-hatred. I need a new job, but the economy is so bad quitting now is about the worst thing I could do. Sigh.

So, grammar. My grammar sucks. My tenses suck. Freely admit that. Past tense, present tense. It's, its, its' ands and arrgh my head spins. I try though. Used to do a lot of first person pov, second person pov (ha, watch me switch when i didn't know the difference. the horror) now i'm stuck on this whole third person - going away from the 'I' for some reason although sometimes it's the *only* pov that makes sense. Maybe it's because it gets confusing keeping track of the grammar...sigh. Thinking..thinking..first person pov? Maybe.

So apparently another rumor which I'm sure is old news but again news to me is that Joe's *not* having twins - I mean, his gf is not having twins, because he doesn't have one. To which I say, of course he doesn't have a girlfriend. How could he when he's making slow, sweet love with Rob every single night? The rest of the band indulge them with much humor and just a little bit of envy of course; Mike and Dave because their love is such a bitter and terrifying thing; Chester and Brad because Chester's family commitments are breaking both their hearts.

And that, I believe is enough of me indulging *my* delusional fantasies for the night, eh?

So I was sitting in the MRT reading..::cough::cough:: a teenbopper magazine, and surrounded by *real* teenagers. Oh the shame! And I know they're not standing there making fun of me, but I just can't help myself, especially since it just so happened that that magazine decided to bless me with a (totally unexpected) poster of Linkin Park, and I couldn't stop looking at the poster and smiling like a dolt. Shame. Shame. Well, various people have told me that I look all of 16, so hopefully I..well, no..even for a 16 year old it's humiliating. See the problem is with those stupid MRT trains. All the seats face one another, and you can't *hide*, like you do when you're on a bus, at the back. Sigh.

Eminem? All grown up? Say it ain't so!! Ahh..must be Dre's influence then. April...ooh, the absolute horror of typing in the words 'I can't wait' and actually meaning them.

ff.net is undergoing scheduled maintainence. What to do, what to do? Sigh. I spend way too much time there.

Realised that the time that I set for this thing was all wrong. Should be okay now. Testing.

Apparently Chester shares the same compulsive 'pointing the middle finger at the camera' syndrome with my baby Em. I've seen three pictures where he does just that. No one else in the band does it. Stock photos Alicia? 'Cos he's the lead singer and all. Mmmm...Em/Chester. Naw..*hugs Chester protectively*. Not gonna unleash the likes of *him* on my lovely Chaz. No way.

So Chester's hair is black now. Well, it was news to *me* anyway. Looks adorable. Still can't beat the blonde, but um. yeah. Mike on the other hand, doesn't seem interested in growing his anymore. Bwah! I miss the devil red do. Even the blue was allright. Chester can get away with having no hair. So can Brad. Mike, Mike needs the hair. Ah well. Still better than Chester's hideous Mohawk phase. Shudder. And this. This just because they look so fucking cool. It's all good though. *My* Mike will always be a freaky redhead and Chester will always be blonde. And apparently you can't link directly to their pictures, so screw it, i'll put them up on my page. Or I would, if Envy wasn't down again. Fuck.